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In the early stages of dating, you tend to stay up late texting or talking to the desired person on the phone and maybe even scrolling through his photos on Facebook or Instagram, wondering what your children would look like. When on dates, the two of you generally go out to eat, fill the time together with engaging activities, and put on the best version of yourselves. Expectedly, when you begin to take the relationship more seriously, the real you comes out. and all those personal subjects that a person tends to shy away from in the beginning.


Luckily, in my relationship, we got the hard conversations out of the way. Our pasts, our values, our careers, our families… We laid it all out on the table. This isn’t to say that our lives are perfectly aligned, because they most definitely are not. We have our fair share of differences, though none are enough to make either of us run. However, one difference stood out more than the rest and likely tempted both of us to run at some point:

He’s a Full Ebira Boy, i mean brought up in Nigeria type though he can be a pain in the Ass sometimes but a pain i will love to endure lols… And I An American/Nigerian Girl born and brought up in New York, Living in Brooklyn. Ihima Nigeria to be precise

Growing up in the United States and having to join so many Ebira Peoples Facebook group just to familiarise my self with world in Nigeria i came across Ebiraland Media. This is where I met my boyfriend, this sites CEO. While my observations at school helped me to understand some cultural differences, it wasn’t until I became serious with my boyfriend that the culture shock hit. Here are a few things that I’ve learned over the past few years:

1. You mean a lot to him if he brings you home.


Though, in our circumstances, I had already talk to his mother through phone calls and through Video Calls, when i got back to Nigeria it still took months for my guy to invite me to his house. By bringing a girl into his house, a guy is communicating to his family that he is serious about her. He doesn’t want to jump the gun on this. In Ebira culture, if he brings you home, you’re well on your way to becoming family....

2. Always accept food, even if you aren’t hungry.

Luckily, my guy told me this before I ate with his family in Okene. It’s considered rude if you don’t accept the food that is offered to you. I don't know how to put this, but food is very important with everything i have learned you don't want to see the other side of the family.

3. Try all the food, even if you already know you don’t like it.


Have you ever seen that movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding? Well, it’s like that part where she tells her family that her boyfriend doesn’t eat meat, and her mother responds, “That’s okay, I make lamb.” Whatever foods you don’t like, you’ll likely end up eating if you truly like the guy you’re dating. In my experience, I despise Gorigo Soup but his family love it, he in the other hand is like me he don't like it.

4. Religious faith is incredibly important.


For me, this was an easy transition. We were raised in the same faith, but our families were at very different levels of practice. In an Ebira family, religious life is a top priority. Great offense is taken if you express any disinterest in Islam or its beliefs. Once, when we were cleaning my boyfriends room, my boyfriend's brother offered me a painting of Sheikh Ibrahim Inyass (to be sincere my boyfriend hates it because he is Al-Sunnah and his Families are Tijaniya). Because I didn’t want him to give up his painting, I said that I didn’t need it. His Grandfather overheard the conversation and he interjected, “Why? You don’t like Inyass?” I am now the proud owner of a lovely painting of Ibrahim Inyass. Again you don't wanna see the other side of the family i learned that from my Mother though.

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This was only the beginning of my Ebira education. When I expressed my desire to relocate from Lagos, his family didn’t hesitate to offer me a bed in their house. With much consideration, I accepted their offer and moved in. It was then that I began to learn a tremendous deal more about Ebira culture.

5. Expect to stay up late.


In many Ebira families, dinner time is anywhere from 7:00pm-8:00pm. Coming from New York, that is about 2 hours later than my regular eating schedule. If you are like me, and you are accustomed to waiting 2 or more hours after eating to go to sleep, then you will likely be heading to bed a lot later than you’re used to. You do, of course, have the option of sleeping early and not eating with the family… But you know what I said about accepting food. If you often choose not to eat with the family, they will wonder if you either dislike their food or don’t want to spend time with them.

6. Expect to be up early for prayer.


If you already have an early morning schedule for prayer, this won’t affect you much. However, if you value sleeping in as long as possible before your day begins and pray, that sleep may be interrupted. Chances are, someone in the house will be up before 4:30am daily, and you will definitely hear it. because you will be wake for prayer don't forget the Faith part of this article

7. Know some basic Ebira Language.


While many Ebiras in the United States and other parts of Nigeria and abroad have knowledge of English, Ebira is more often spoken in the home. You may not be called on to use Ebira often, but it is ideal to at least understand what the rest of the family is speaking about… Especially if it’s important. Additionally, there are likely some non-immediate family members that have little knowledge of English who will prefer to converse with you in Ebira Language. You also want to be in on the jokes, trust me.

8. You’re never done cleaning.


Cleaning the kitchen or the living room once in awhile may be a nice way to help around the house, but don’t be offended if it goes unnoticed. Often, these areas can become cluttered within a matter of minutes, depending on how many people occupy the house. Additionally, someone (generally the mother) will likely unintentionally overlook your attempt to clean and do her own cleaning soon after you’ve finished. In my experience, my guy’s mother is experienced in cleaning. Therefore, what I may think of as clean may not be up to par with her standards.

9. Always show your face at the events and buy Anko LOLS.


Be it a birthday, wedding or just a typical burial ceremony, your house is likely to host an event. Whoever hosts the event takes much pride in the event, so it’s important to be present for at least a portion of it. Typically, event can last anywhere from three to four hours… So, if you have a lot of work to do, I recommend joining the congregation about an hour and a half in. Leaving early is always a bit more awkward than showing up late. and make sure you put on your Anko....

13. These people are your family.


If you are lucky enough to experience living with a Ebira family for any period of time, you will learn that the nurturing nature of your environment is a blessing. Their home is your home, and they want you to feel as comfortable as possible… but not too comfortable. Because they will treat you like family, you will also be expected to do your part around the house. Living with Ebiras is a wonderful learning experience and an opportunity to know some truly incredible and caring people.

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While this list may give a brief outsider’s perspective on an Ebira family, the qualities of the guy are what really draw you in. My guy is, no doubt, the best man I could hope to love. This is, in part, due to the way he was raised and the traditions he practices. Here are some things that my wonderful Ebira has taught me:

14. It is important that your values align.


Just as in any relationship, your core values should be very similar. He will be adamant about his own values, and his core values will not be compromised for any reason.

17. His family is a top priority.


So, you were supposed to meet your guy at the gym? Well, his mother just called and told him to pick his sister up from school, and he’s going to be late… Needless to say, sometimes, you’ll have to be adaptable. Last-minute favors are common. This can be frustrating, but you can’t blame him for making his family a top priority, as yours is likely high on your list of priorities, too. This also means that, if he really likes you, he will want you to be a part of family events and make a genuine effort to spend time with his family.

18. He is as sexy as you’d imagine your Ebira boyfriend to be.


Well, at least my boyfriend is as sexy as I’d hoped. There is something about his passion, both for me and his interests, that make him incredibly attractive. This may have nothing to do with being Ebira, but I thought I’d share.

20. His love is incomparable.


This part is obviously subjective. However, I’ve observed that those I know who were raised in Ebira families have a unique strength, passion, and willpower in relationships. Together, through our own experiences and in observing our parents and friends, we have learned that all of these qualities are vital to a loving and enduring relationship. Additionally, my guy has a quality that makes me feel undeniably lucky. He is the master of the little things. Therefore, whether I think I deserve it in the moment or not, I always feel loved and valued. I’m no princess, but he makes it clear that I’m his Inya.

Did you like this article please help me by sharing this with your friends thanks for reading
I'm the type of guy that argue a lot, so one day i was arguing an issue with my cousin on why men that cheat are forgivable and women are not forgivable, by the end of the argument i won because i know a little when it comes to relationship. After the argument i decided to publish my 5 Reasons Why Men Hardly Forgive Women That Cheat In Relationship. Read on;


1: EGO:- It certainly has a lot to do with our ego being bruised. The thought that another man was able to sleep with Someone they believed we had “ownership” of breaks us to pieces as most of us think the women incapable of sex without emotions, meaning the woman loves another. Remember men are like a lioness that can kill most animals for its cubs but will not allow another animal to even play with its cubs.
2: GUILT:- If a woman cheats, the man will never forgive not only the woman but himself no matter whose fault it is. We feel we have failed as a man to protect and keep our own.
3: WE CAN’T FORGET:- When a man is making love with his wife, it is a sacred rituals the way she moan shows that his sacrifice has been accepted. So if she makes love with another man he will be thinking the temple is no more sacred and when he makes love to her and she moans, it will be disgusting cause it will be like that is the way she moaned for the other guy!
4: I HAVE LOST HER IF SHE CHEATS:- Female infidelity is often much more damaging to a marriage. Don’t get me wrong: Male cheating is definitely harmful. But when a woman fools around, it’s often the beginning of the end of the relationship. For men, cheating often tends to be opportunistic — they’re in the wrong place at the wrong time and the cheating doesn’t necessarily mean anything emotionally. In fact a man can sleep with a woman today and not remember her again but for a woman to have sex with you (in most cases) you must win her heart to win her body.
5: WE PAID YOUR PRICE:- I guess i gotta be blunt here. I know we call it marriage but I think women are being bought in a way. Don’t kill me yet, let’s analyze it. He buys engagement ring. Proposes to you, you accept then he decides to see your people. Your people accept him and give him a list containing heaven and earth. He agrees to pay, he pays for everything and when your parents feel they have collected enough, they hand you over to him. Then you automatically change your name (Change of ownership) which confirms that you are now his own. I have seen where women sponsored their marriage and the men don’t care when they cheat so I believe the day you stop asking for head-cutting bride price for us to marry then we won’t bother much, imagine paying all that money and she gives it to another man..
Make I drop my pen at this juncture, Note i didn't write this because i want to encourage cheating among Men but to show people why its really unforgivable for men to catch their wife cheating. 
Please share this with your friends if you like my article and drop your comments too below thanks for visiting my Blog. 
Written by: Yakubu Binuyaminu Adeiza (Binusmart or Binoosmart)
Email: binoosmart@gmail.com Phone No: +2348168374589.
Hello, and welcome to Ebiraland Media, My Name is Yakubu Binuyaminu Adeiza but friends call me Binoosmart  I am a Nigeria popular Blogger and Internet expert that help businesses and start-ups promote their brands online i write for a living and i have written lots of relationship articles,  sometime ago i wrote 9 Qualties That Accurately Describe Ebira Women Not “Violent”which i received a lot of encouraement from my readers and fans and just of recent i received emails regarding another post like it, which is the biggest inspiration behind this article.
Ebira women were created of brown sugar and warm honey, the sweetest thing to bless the earth. Be wary of anyone who tells you otherwise.” – Yakubu Binuyaminu Adeiza (Binoosmart)
Despite knowing how prevalent ignorance is, I am still unbelievably baffled at some conversations that take place among social circles. It seems like opportunities to praise Ebira women are overlooked, while verbal thrashings are in abundance – especially when it comes to love, sex and relationships.
In an effort to remind some of how wonderful it is to date a Ebira woman, here are five reasons, and frankly, it's a shame that I feel the need to craft a piece like this.
1) Ebira Women are Supportive.
A very good friend of mine is an excellent cook. She’s had a culinary degree for a few years now, but decided to hold off on pursuing a career in the field to raise her family and support her man’s professional career. Another friend of mine is one of the smartest people I know when it comes to information technology, but she, too, decided to hold off on jump starting her career in order for her husband to complete law school. Both women not only kept the house in order, but made sure their significant others were well-groomed, well-fed, had emotional power and any other support they needed to face the world. One of the most annoying myths out there is that Ebira women do not support their mates. They seriously wear several hats in sacrifice of those they love – just like women of other tribes. The only difference is that we go unappreciated, unacknowledged and unpraised. Ebira women do not lack a supportive bone, people do. Not caring about someone else is not limited to a certain ethnicity and gender. It is a personal choice not to give a damn.
2) Believe it or not, it Really Doesn’t Take Much to Please Them.
I was watching old Martin reruns with my homeboy one night when the episode where he finally proposed to Gina came on. Not the one where Brian McKnight showed up and serenaded Gina to tears. I’m referring to the first proposal that felt more like pulling teeth than a genuine act of forever love and commitment. Noticing how jacked up Martin was to Gina, I commented on it. “Yo, Martin is bogus as hell. I’m glad she didn’t accept his proposal. Whack city.” My boy replies, “See? The man is giving in and marrying her and that still isn’t enough. Ebira women are never satisfied.” SMH. What my friend and Martin both failed to realize is that Gina didn’t just want a proposal; she wanted a heartfelt, genuine symbol of the love she felt for Martin returned. She simply wanted to feel loved, nurtured, coveted and appreciated. For most people, those four feelings can go a long way…fat engagement ring or not.
3) Ebira Women are Highly Desirable.
Even Hausa women love the way our Women Dress, Yoruba Women love the way the way they cook and all Men are enticed by their beauty
4) Ebira Women are Selective.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but thots come in all forms. Men are thots, women are thots, Ebira men are thots, Ebira women are thots. My point is this. The argument that Ebira women settle for anything is old, tired and just plain inaccurate. The notion that Ebira women are willing and ready to just sign up for the role of “side chick” is also false. Stop believing what you are being force fed in the media. Ebira Women are royalty, and royalty does not eat scraps.
5) Ebira Women are Love.
As a Ebira Man I refuse to believe that they mare anything less than desirable. Forget the fact that they are "statistically" doomed to be single, have the high divorce rates than other ethnic group in Nigeria and supposedly have the worst luck at online dating.
My Ebira Women are beautiful and they will forever be with their Good manners.
You can click here to read more of my articles like this on relationship tips or here on Ebira Women. Thanks for reading and don't forget to share with your friends....
It is the season of love and lovers are ecstatic about celebrating Valentine in a very special way. It’s also that time of the year when many single guys want to pop the question every single girl looks forward to!
Hence a lot of marriage proposals occur at this time. In this piece, we will be giving tips on some ways to make that special moment an intriguing one for your bride to be, with real experience of some lovers who got engaged via similar methods and their reactions .
THE RESTAURANT PROPOSAL
Proposals occur often in restaurants. All you need to do is take her to an exotic restaurant for lunch or dinner date , it has to be somewhere special because it’s a special day!
If your lover is the type who loves to always have family and friends around for her significant celebrations like birthdays and all, then you might have to invite a few members of her family and close friends to dinner as well and brief them of your plans but they must keep it a secret in order not to ruin the surprise.
You can invite her or have her friend invite her over in pretext of another friend’s celebration. But if she is the type who loves private moments, you can take her to dinner alone and brief the waiter of your plans. They know how best to serve her the ring on a beautiful platter. Then you go on your knees and propose.
Christina & Darko
Christina was swept off her feet when the love of her life Darko proposed to her in a restaurant. She shares her experience “On Sunday 4th February 2018 at 3:04pm.
I was given a rose upon entering the restaurant; heard my favourite song by Kelly Price playing in the background; was told our table was ready and then walked into a room full of friends and family!!!
After being in a state of shock for about 15 minutes I heard the words ‘Will you marry me?’ (There was a speech before this but my brain couldn’t process all the information)long story short, I said..yes
WITH A BUNCH OF ROSES
Some ladies are just crazy about roses and yes we are! These bunch of luscious delights come predominantly in white or red colours. If your girlfriend loves flowers then all you need to do is mesmerize her with a bunch of roses.
You can hide the ring in the bunch or go down on your knees while she is still revelling on the beauty of the roses and pop the question.
This proposal could be done anywhere like your home, a restaurant , a mall , a park or her favourite spot. Just ensure you hide the roses till you get to the spot where you want to propose.
A PROPOSAL WITH A BEAUTIFUL CAKE
A lot of ladies love cakes and it’s also believed to be a symbol of love that is why you always find a cake during special occasions like weddings, birthdays and lots more.
This piece of sumptuous delight could be a good tool to propose with, and in this case you no longer need to ask the questions but have it written out boldly on the cake and be sure to be present the moment she receives it because that is when you go on your knees with the ring.
And just like the flower proposal, the cake proposal can also happen anywhere! Just choose the right venue or location that suits you both
DESTINATION PROPOSALS
This is when you set your mind to blow her mind. If she loves to travel , the destination proposal would definitely do the magic. You can take her on a short trip to any country of your choice but preferably a country she always fantasizes about.
During the vacation, take her to a beautiful restaurant or tourist spot and while she is stuck in awe of her environment , you go on your knees and pop the question! This is a high budget proposal and should be adopted by those who can afford it. You don’t have to break the bank to make her yours forever.
ADDING THE WOW FACTOR
Most guys want to make their proposal phenomenal and they spare no cost to make it happen. It could be a proposal on board a private jet or you just want to pull the kind of stunt Kanye did for Kim.
Better still, get her a very expensive gift preferably a brand new car decorated with roses just like music star Peter of defunct Psquare who proposed to his wife Lola with a brand new Range Rover Evoque and a bunch of roses with a tag that read Will you marry me!
Ebira Wedding - Commonwealth Youth Speaker Propose to His Longtime Girlfriend
James Avabee & Ibrahim Humikurusum Tessy
Speaker, Commonwealth Youth Leadership and the National Coordinator of Nigeria Christian Youths Political Platform (NICHYPP), Comrade Matthew James Avabee (GP) proposed to his longtime girlfriend, Miss Ibrahim Humikurusum Tessy in Lagos last night at the most expensive Sailor Lounge Lekki.
 
Tessy is the CEO of DH Express, an online business outfit in Nigeria. Her company, www.dhexpress.com.ng , majorly distribute quality and affordable wears, make up boxes, electronics, phones and Jewelries across the nation.
 
The surprise event was witnessed by the founder of Confluence Mountaineering and Chairman of Father’s House Foundation, Mr Maleek Shehu and other notable friends.
 
Matthew, popular called Mr Spreading, and his sweetheart expressed their joy and rendered appreciation to God for his love towards them. They also thanked all their friends and family that took their precious time to pray with them all through.
 
The current rumor in town is that both has been dating for a while now and they are planning to tie the knot early next year.
Jimoh Anita Janet.
Jimoh Anita Janet.
I always wanted to write a story about Love, this pushed me into competing in RollingHill Magazine Soul Soup for Every Relationship article 2014, which i won. I've since then been writing articles on relationships and lifestyle but since when i have an encounter with this girl i lost it. HOW?

I've always wanted to write about how i feel for her, but i couldn't, why? I don't know either but all I know is that I'm deeply in love.

Maybe to download this weird feelings within me, I tried to reason the fact that I was falling for her, yet I was scared of been broken like others complain to me, asking for help, so I closed my eyes and wander around in silence.

What if I can just remove this protocol and be real to myself?
What if I can stop missing her and decide to be with her?
What if I can just tell her how I feel and see what happens?

The thought of this and she cloud my memory, Then I began to write.

This is for you  Jimoh Anita Janet. if you are reading though.

Jimoh Anita Janet.
Jimoh Anita Janet.
To you the age is a barrier, but to me its not, its just a number, if a guy truly have regards for women.(quality which i possess. not bragging) I’m not perfect, I’ve made so many mistakes, but if you let me in , I promise I will take it slowly one memory at a time, I will learn to trust and understand you, you will be my sunshine and I will be your best friend.

Recommended : A Poem For That Ebira Girl I Love.


If you let me in, I promise It will always be about us, we won’t rush it, If I kiss you, I will kiss you with a meaning, If I touch you, I will cherish every single opportunity life present to us, If we can think  less about age difference, Maybe one day our love story will be the sunshine in many homes.

Why is it hard to see the plain reality, about my love for you or is it because your heart is focused on another Guy? pray for the best but expect the worse, this is what my friends keep telling me but anytime i think of you, my heart is full of hope and i don't care to listen.

Baby you are my crush, something i will always love, when time is rough and the road is tough, Janet if you let me in your heart, we will always be in love.....

Jimoh Anita Janet.
Jimoh Anita Janet.
The simple fact is I have played with your photos zoom it to see those glowing eyes of yours with that awesome dimple in one side of your cheek, you are beautiful baby but i think that's not the reason i love you. My love for you is just like a copied assignment I cant do without submitting but cant explain it.

Recommended: The Complete Guide To Courtship For Women


Janet if you let me in, I will always be there when you need me and never will i disappoint but you will have only one regret, which is "Why haven't you met me from the beginning of your days💗💗".

Thanks for reading please share it below, read comments and drop yours too i will really appreciate it. Adijo (Bye for now)🙌🙋
An Open Letter To My Future Ebira Wife
An Open Letter To My Future Ebira Wife
Dear Future Wife,

I don't know if you are going to read this before we will meet, or you are reading it now, or let me say you are going to read it after we are married.

I will tell you a secret now, i just burnt my hand when i was trying to remove pot from the gas cooker. It really hurts and i don't know how long the pain lasted, but all i know is that if you were here the pain would have disappear quickly, the reason is that I'm sure with your magic touch any pain in my body will disappear.

I promise to do my best to make you beam daily, so count on many surprises. Your smile will be my priority. I get weak knees when anybody smiles, so just imagine the effort I will make to be the source of yours.

I promise I will always look at you with the same adoration as I did the moment I realized I loved you.
I promise to try to ignite the same sparkle in your eyes I see when you're surprised, inspired, motivated or when you are about to lean in to kiss me.

I promise to hold your hand when we're 80 years old with the same liveliness that I did when I crossed that line to hold yours for the first time. I vow never to let the excitement of dating me die down; I will surprise you with the location, the reason or the activity itself.

I promise to keep you guessing where we're going next.  I promise to do my best always to interest you. I will keep reinventing myself, gaining new hobbies, new knowledge and new interests to keep you — and myself — entertained.

I promise to have new stories to share with you, and maybe I'll retell the best ones again if you insist. Our friendship will continue to grow over the years.

I vow to challenge you to challenge yourself for the better; to make you think differently. I promise to try to feed off of your illuminating energy that will inspire me to do the same with myself. I will do my best to ensure that being bored never crosses your mind.

An Open Letter To My Future Ebira Wife
We will look at the beauty of the sky together. Ebiraland.com.ng.
Even in grief and darkness, I promise to show you the different shades of the dark, and to help you find the tiny rays of light that are always there if you seek them. After all, there's always worse than worst and better than best; everything is relative.

I promise to kiss you throughout our life together, with the same passion I had the first time I felt my lips on yours. When we kiss, I want it to slow down time — just you and me engulfed in our feelings.
I promise to play the games you like to play.

I promise to help you to be healthy, both physically and mentally. I will cook and clean for us. Expect the best breakfast: traditional Armenian tomato and pepper omelets, followed by fruit salad with… well, I can't give all the secrets out.

I promise to strive to be a role model for our children. I want both you and them to see me as a source of motivation. I want to inspire them in the same way that my father inspires me.

I promise to do my best to love your family as you love them and to be by their side as much as I am by yours.

I promise to always listen to you when you simply just want to be heard; when you want someone to vent to about something or when you want advice.

I will listen to you especially when you don't feel comfortable sharing your thoughts with anybody else, and to the things you try to tell me when you're not even speaking. I promise to always listen.
During our life together, I promise to make sure that you feel as though you are the center of the household — I know you will be — and I will always try to show my appreciation for you because of that. Being the man of the house is nothing without a woman.

I promise never to let my guard down in taking care of us. I know you won't be one to be satisfied with the bare minimum.

I promise to do everything that I can for you without taking away from your independence physically, intellectually or emotionally.

I promise to create family traditions and to make sure that your legacy lives forever through our children.

I promise to encapsulate the moment when I realize that I am in the most magnetic, amorous and erotic love with you, not to let that feeling dissipate to the best of my ability and to relive it with you constantly, always.

I  am not promising to Marry just one wife but my love will never change for you and i will always remember i thanked God for creating in you such beauty, not only this, I have written you a poem to click here to read it.

Know my name now it's Yakubu Binuyaminu Adeiza, Imagine changing that your first name to Yakubu. lets say your name is; i don't want to guess but take it this way Yakubu YourName wow how great is that?

Till we meet Anayamisi, Please keep your self because I'm keeping myself for you and I'm really happy to let you know that I'm still a Virgin; You are no more? if No! that's sad but do not worry i will love you for who you are. Please be safe.

Yours Sincerely, 
Yakubu Binuyaminu Adeiza.
Your Future Husband.
Ebira Marriage
Ebira Women Don't Want To Marry Ebira Men
Hello my fellow Ebira Men and Women, the youths in particular i wrote an article just a day interval to this one you are reading now (titled: Photos: Ebira Women Are Beautiful, Please Tell Them - See Photos That Will Melt Your Heart ) where a guy said Ebira Women are really beautiful but they are all refusing to marry their tribal Men, I promised the Guy this article after. I thought to my self and look everywhere to see the real reason behind this and after so much research I'm able to come up with something.

Recommended:  The Complete Guide To Courtship For Women

Guys i want to let you know that no matter how many reports you read about the rise in numbers of divorce cases in Ebiraland Today, it still remains a dirty word that Ebiras are taught not to even contemplate. For Our Forefathers generation and those who are even younger, there is a growing number who rebel. But for older couples it is still very true. No matter how much they hate each other, divorce is not an option. “Real” men and women never divorce.

We are taught in schools that it is the most abhorred by God of all things Islamically permitted. Couples have separate bedrooms on different floors and lead chiefly separate lives and yet are still married. A man might take on a second wife and not see his first except twice a month to pay the bills and buy groceries. He does it because he thinks its manly and the woman stays on and is patient because that’s what a good woman does.

Recommended: Interview: Mercy Johnson And Husband Share Their Marriage Secrets To Help Ebira Peoples Marriage Particularly.


This like all other things is changing. After reading a comment on one of my articles, I thought I would write a bit about it. In Ebiraland there are two ways to obtain a divorce depending on who initiates it, the first is easy and can be done by the husband and the second is extremely hard and is reserved for the wife. The first can be done by the husband simply by deciding in his heart to divorce his wife and in effect this becomes valid immediately. Then in his own time he can go to the courts and obtain a document of his decision and send a copy to the ex-wife. Alimony and child custody is not a big deal either and definitely not mandated. Several women I personally know in Ebiraland have never gotten any financial support from their ex-husbands. And in the case they are allowed to take care of their children alone, its only because the father is not interested in caring for the kids. So in essence he is allowing the mother to have them. Which is one hearth braking thing our Government should look into.

After noticing all this i said to my self what are people turning the World into. Before you can see a Single Girl or Woman that is Single with no child In Ebiraland is very hard not that we don't have them but those ones we see most are the ones that are abused by either their boyfriends or husbands leaving them to face the struggle of life with child if not children.

Recommended: 6 Relationship Things You Should NEVER Post About on Social Media.

So i can boldly say that this is the major reason why Ebira Women are deciding not to get married to their tribal Men, they are scared of divorce and it seams that the rate of divorce in Ebiraland now is greater than with Hausa's. I just pray that since our Ebira youths are now getting Education now they should be wise enough to tackle challenges in their marriage with patience and with no violence.

With heavy heart i write this article I'm single and a very small boy, i know i can't teach you my elders when it comes to marital life but when we the young ones see where you elderly ones are faulty we should try and make corrections and try to teach it to you if you are ignorance of it. and to my fellow single Boys out their i purposely write and dedicate this article to you guys please let us wise up and learn the best way to treat our women start it from your girlfriends, (Read my 3 Psychological Ways To Talk To Girls, To Make Them Fall In Love With You. )and the single girls out their you guys should maintain a very strong prayer support for we your future husbands, I'm sure together we are going to build a very strong and fruitful family together.

Recommended: The Complete Guide To Courtship For Women


At this junction i will drop my pen, Please and please don't just be a reader also be a contributor by dropping your comments or reply some comments below and share with your friends and save marriages i remain my Humble Self Yakubu Binuyaminu Adeiza, do you want to ask me a secret question please be free to contact me on Facebook click here or through my email - binoosmart@gmail.com

Recommended: Ebira Girls And Hausa Girls - What its Really Like To Date Them (Comparison).
Today, here and right now, I'm going to expose some secrets to you. This article might appear long, but don't worry…I have added headlines and pictures through-out it to make it easy for you to scan through (Though I will advise you go through every word here slowly).



Let me make you a promise before you start reading; if you are a guy and have always wondered why girls you really really like never seem to like you back then this would be the most important blog-post you will ever come across this whole year. If you want to completely eliminate the "hard to get" attitude you get from women then come with me. If this article didn't work for you, then my brother those women are still following you from village.

Now, in this post, I will show you 3 psychological tricks that you can use to communicate with girls and get them to like you.

These 3 ways of talking to girls that i am about to pour on your laps always work like magic, every single time. With just these three ways of talking to girls you can get them to become addicted to you, always come around you and basically love to be around you like crazy. Turn it up just a bit, use it on your dream girl and you will have her sending you love texts like her life depends on it Go through these strategies then ask any girl around you weather they work and my guess is that they would give you a resounding yes.

Before i go into the strategies let me quickly tell you why these strategies work. Now come with me.

WHY DOES THIS SECRET I WILL REVEAL TO YOU WORK SO WELL?

Here is the thing;

- One; girls always get guys coming around them -every single time. Walk through a girl's Facebook inbox and you will be marveled at the tons of unread messages in it. In real life, same thing happens - they get approached by guys all the time. An average girl gets approached by at least two guys every week or two guys everyday if she is pretty (And that is 4 guys every week) This attention gets to a girl's head, she starts feeling like a prize and when that happens – "shakara" steps in.

- Two; Girls are bombarded by loads and loads of boring guys every day. it can be tiring, trust me - what they do is to filter away the boring guys and focus on the more interesting ones.

If girls don't like talking to you long in real life and on social media then it means you are not communicating with them in these three ways I'm about to reveal.

If girls always give you "k" and "lol" on social media, it is not because they are rude - it is because you are plain boring (that is the painful truth). But here is the good news, you can change how you communicate with girls and become a more attractive guy by using this 3 strategies Here they are –

THE 3 WAYS TO TALK TO GIRLS THAT WILL MAKE THEM ATTRACTED TO YOU

1. Teasing
2. Sarcasm
3. Bedroom talk

Let's take them one by one…

1. Teasing:

Some guys can be a big nightmare to girls. What girls hate like crazy is a guy who keeps asking tons and tons of questions when they discuss with them. Questions like: "how was your day", "have you eaten", "hope your day was good", "hope you are fine" All in one chat/conversation. This is boring, it bores the hell out of girls.

You have to be more interesting than that if you want that girl to find you interesting. You have to flirt with her using the teasing strategy.

How does this work?

Simple - teasing basically means to make fun of a girl in a playful way. Let me give you practical examples - Instead of coming to a girls Facebook Picture and commenting with "Beautiful Picture" (which is boring - every guy does it), You could flip this around and comment instead with - "Comot here joor, you are too sexxxy for my liking, i can't date someone like you."

To a guy, a talk like this is silly (i know) but to a girl it works like magic. (Try it right now, go on Facebook and try it out under a girl's picture and watch her reaction).

More examples - You could call up a girl and instead of asking her "did you think of me?" (which is as boring as hell and makes her feel like you are begging to be thought of), the best way to start the conversation is to playfully say - "I know you've been thinking about me all day so i am here to free your mind" *smile* "how are you".

The reason why this works on girls is that it:

- Makes you different from other guys who are boring
- Makes you appear confident.
- Makes you more attractive because by making fun of her you give her the impression that you are not trying to impress her like other guys do (and nothing is as attractive to girls as a guy who doesn't try to impress them like a puppy)


Now note; It doesn't matter what you say but how you say it. Someone can say the above things and it will seem like he is arrogant while another person would say the exact same thing and it would work like a magnetic magic on a girl.

So the right way to tease a girl is to always to make fun of her with a smile. it doesn't mean saying nasty things to her; the right way to tease is to always make it seem like you are playing around with your little sister.

2. SARCASM

This is another powerful way to communicate with girls that will make her find you interesting. But before i go into this strategy proper, let me first tell you why it works. Every single minute a girl gets attention from dozens upon dozens of guys struggling real hard just to impress her.

During a girl's teenage years, she finds this interesting and she might even fall in love with you if you show her enough interest than other guys. But as she grows older she gets used to it and it starts to bore her. A teenage girl might fall for sweet talk but a grown girl won't - as a matter of fact she has heard it all. Two; girls are never attracted to guys who always try to impress them - they prefer free guys who they cannot control.

If you join dozens of other guys who are saying the same sweet things and acting in the same sweet way then how do you intend to stand out?

That is where "Sarcasm" comes in...it makes you stand out, It gives a girl the impression that you are not like the next guy who will only say what she wants to hear just to please her, it shows her that you are in control, it shows her that you are DIFFERENT - and girls find that attractive.

So how do you apply sarcasm in real life?

Again i will give you real life examples - let me use Facebook again; Take for instance a girl puts up a new profile picture you could inbox her and say - "Thank God for that profile picture, no guy will look at it two times and that means there is no way they will take you from me - keep uploading those kinda ugly picture"

If she gets angry don't apologizes (assuming she is the dull type that doesn't understand a joke - a smart girl will understand a joke when she hears it).

Also, for instance; if a girl says hi to you on social media you could reply with: 'You want to snatch me from my girlfriend abi, alright, if i must cheat on her for you then i need 2 sons from you"
You get the gist?; mixing a little sarcasm with a little humor is the key. It makes you appear like you have options, but when you run around trying to impress a girl like your life depends on it it gives her this impression that you don't have much choices (that could turn a girl off big time). Girls love guys who have self worth and not ones who jump up whenever they (the girls) says jump.

3. BEDROOM TALK.

Alright, now we are here - the final strategy. I will have to carefully go through this one so we all can get it.

First, let's look at why this strategy works.

The thing is this; if a girl sees you as just a friend then that is what you will remain - no matter what. Girls RARELY date guys they have friend zoned. This is exactly why after telling a girl who is a close friend of yours that you love her, she will either start avoiding you or she will start becoming uncomfortable around you - she would RARELY agree that she feels the same way (because she doesn't).

If you want a girl to see you as a boyfriend material then you have to start from the onset to give her boyfriend signals, not by telling her how you feel about her (This will only make her lose interest in you), the best way to make a girl see you as someone she might date in the future is to use BEDROOM TALK on her from the very beginning. When you talk to her in this way she would

One; Not categorize you as just a friend.
Two; She would begin to feel some level of sexual attraction to you. when this happens then she would start seeing you as someone she can date i will explain what i mean, Stay with me Bedroom talk is the art of talking to a girl in ways that trigger her sexual buttons or her sexual imaginations. I don't mean sex-chatting (That would be gross).

Let me give you some real life example: For instance; assuming you are having some discussion with a girl and she says something you don't agree with, you could say something like: "see eh, if you say something like that again I will bite your lips for you" (In her head, this registers as a sexual tease and it triggers her imagination a bit - if you say it with the right voice tone it would be electric) Sure enough, if she doesn't already like you she might not imagine much of the sexual meaning of what you've just said, but when you keep giving her loads and loads of bedroom talks in the right way, it will start to have effect on her.

More examples: You could hug a girl and while she is still holding you, you could say something like: "help, she is molesting me. where is my mummy" (I know, it sounds silly but it works - girls are tender creatures, tender things work on them) Also you could be walking with a girl then you can turn and go like; "hey, stop checking out my hips joor, i'm not even up to 18 and you are looking at me that way" (Try this and watch her laugh her head off, hit you and then say: "go joor") Or you could say something like this after calling her up at night; "sleep tight, don't dream of me - i get girls pregnant in dreams". (This one also works just fine) You get the gist?; you mix a little teasing and then charge it up with sexual fire. Girls are very imaginative creatures; they are more affected by what they hear than what they see.

BUT NOTE - Doing this the wrong way could backfire and make you look like a pervert - So be Smart like Binoosmart. 

Written By:
Yakubu Binuyaminu.
As a young, single Ebira guy crossing the river Niger and Benue (Kogi State) for Schooling In the Northern Part of Nigeria, I was extremely curious about the dating life in the North (as a blogger though. Lols). After all, I'd watched my fellow guys charmed the hell out of Beautiful girls in Bars, Super Markets and in club in Ekiti where I live before relocating to Kogi State and later to Zaria.
Ebira Girls And Hausa Girls - By, Binoosmart.


I have compared dating Ebira Girls and Dating Yoruba girls In one of my previous articles you can check it out by clicking here.

It was early this year (2017) when I first landed in Kaduna State as a young- Ebira Boy, with warnings about Hausa girls: they're high maintenance, my friends told me. I tried to brush this off—preconceptions are always dangerous when entering any sort of relationship. Still, when I met my first girlfriend in Ahmadu Bello University, Hausa girl from Kano State, I was immediately taken aback by an over arching obsession with status and money. She had a vision of the man she was going to marry: tall, dark, handsome, and a millionaire. After all, as she put it, "Bloggers don't make a lot of money." I wasn't the guy that could spoon feed her, and I'm not tall and so handsome for now, so it ended.

But surely not all Hausa Girls thought all Guys had an endless supply of money? They weren't all obsessed with fame, Looks and fortune, were they? Was Hausa culture really as shallow as my friends had warned?

I dated another Hausa Girl again this Girl! really awesome she is my course mate. Sadly, when we were suddenly thrust into a long distance relationship for like 3months, the reality set in that it was putting too much stress on our education. So with a heavy heart, it was the end of a fairytale love affair.

Since then, I have been comparing my time spent with this Hausa girls to those time I spend with my several Ebira Girlfriends, and if there's one thing I can tell you, it's that the stereotype of Ebira Girls being more well-mannered is actually true. Hausa girls—in my experience—carry themselves elegantly; sometimes so much.

Recently, I went on two dates in Zaria (Mr. Biggs in Samaru) within the space of a week, one with Ebira Girl, the other with a Hausa Girl. The Hausa eerily reminded me of myself—she ate quickly, washed her food down with juice, and generally wasn't too concerned about how she might look to the outside world, let alone me. The Ebira Girl, with seemingly impeccable etiquette, ate slowly and cautiously, ensuring the chicken she was munching on didn't wrap around her big, pearly white teeth.

On the contrary, Hausa girls have no too much of shame picking piece of meat out of their teeth on a date. It just took me a while to realize that this might have nothing to do with etiquette at all, but rather, it might be because Ebira women are more anxious than Hausa women. They worry more about their appearance, political correctness and how others perceive them. There is more emphasis on "keeping up appearances," especially In Ahmadu Bello University where I have been Schooling for the past five months now.

Similarly, Hausa girls are much more lavish in their approach to life; and this includes the restaurants they expect to be taken to. Money and salary is brought up frequently, and name dropping is prevalent in a good portion of conversations, I think this is obvious because status is paramount in the north. Ebira girls, meanwhile, do not spend the same amount of money on themselves as Hausa girls, nor do they expect you to spend a lot on them.

Again Ebira Girls speak more of becoming independent while Hausa Girls believe Guys will be the person to provide for the family alone-an average Hausa man will agree to this.

In terms of sex to some of my Ebira Girlfriends sex is not too much of a big deal but to some it is and to Hausa Girls, they believe its only in Marriage, though it depends if the girl is religious. One of my course mate (Victoria) once told me that the most disappointing thing about relationship these days is; Guys thinking everything about dating has to do with sex, well to this objection I will not argue and will not agree at the same time, because such relationships depends on the primary Objective the relationship is placed upon (Marriage or just for the fun of it). When you are not ready for marriage! Why should you date in the first place.





The biggest lesson I've learned, is that we Ebira Men have set the bar so low, taking our women for granted. I'm astounded by the Ebira men I have seen, who shamelessly approach women with no respect, like drooling dogs. Hausa women expect a man with top notch etiquette—an almost forgotten trait here. If I could teach Ebira women one thing, it would be to raise their expectations.

As I approach my birthday, one thing has become clear: if I could combine the best quality of Ebira and Hausa Girls, In just one Girl she might just be the one I will date and get Married to.

I think I should drop my pen at this junction.


Do you enjoy reading this article please share with your friends and families and at the comment section below drop your opinions and reply other peoples opinion on this article. Thanks for Reading.

Composed and Written By;
Yakubu Binuyaminu Adeiza,
Binoosmart.
Mercy Johnson & Hubby Share Their Marriage Secrets

Mercy Johnson Okojie is one of Nigeria’s most talented actresses from Okene, Kogi State. The actress got married to Prince Odianosen Okojie at Christ Embassy Church, Oregun, Ikeja Lagos on Saturday, August 27, 2011 and their marriage is blessed with two children.

Mercy Johnson & Hubby Share Their Marriage Secrets

In this interview with Punch, Mercy and her husband share their amazing love story, how they met, how they keep the spark in their marriage and a host of other things. Mercy and her husband met for the first time in 2008 on a flight from France. They had both flown Business class and he asked for her number but she declined. He later managed to get hold of her number and that’s how it started.

According to Odi, it was love at first sight. On how they keep the spark in their marriage with the birth of their children: Mercy said: "I buy funny cards, which I slip into his pockets, and then he would jokingly remind me about the fact that I have two children. I also dress skimpily in bum shorts and parade in the room whenever he is around." Odi said: "We crack a lot of jokes and play together because she is my best friend.
I confide in her always and she is also supportive of me as well.

We go to quiet places together and also attend family engagements. With the birth of our kids, I haven’t loved her any less; in fact I call her my daughter." Asked what he does not like about his wife, he replied: "Absolutely nothing. She does everything I like and that has kept us strong." Mercy on the hand said her husband is too truthful and that upsets sometimes. On how they handle disagreement: Odi replied: “We hardly disagree but since we wedded, I don’t think we have had any reason to invite a third party. We play a lot and handle issues maturely.

Mercy and her husband / children


“He apologizes in funny ways. Since I had the baby, whenever he offends me, he will play a particular CD and then teases me. He simply does things that make me laugh,” Mercy said. Mercy Johnson & Hubby Share Their Marriage Secrets Mercy and her husband The couple said they can never cheat on each other. According to Mercy, marriage has taught her patience which has changed everything about her. “Ever since I had my daughter, I learned to appreciate other children and humanity the more. My husband and children are top on my priority list at the moment and acting is secondary.

I would let go of everything for them,” she said. Asked why they decided to name their daughter Purity, Odi said it was because his wife has a heart of gold, saying: “she is kind and pure. She is without blame or blemish. I decided to name her after the qualities I see in her mum.”

Mercy returned to Nigeria few weeks back after being away for several months in the United States for the birth of her second child.

Please Share It Below;
Almost every single lady wants to settle down one day and have a family. But before that there is some things you need to know before you marry and that leads us to the topic for today what every woman should know before courtship.

What is Courtship

The Macmillan dictionary defines courtship as a period of time when a man and woman have a romantic relationship with each other before marriage.
courtship can also be defined as when a brother and sister has reached an agreement that God is Leading them into marriage.
You must remember that not all courtship Leads to marriage.
One of the reasons why marriage fail is because of the mistakes people make in courtship.

The difference between courtship and dating

There is a huge difference between courtship and dating so don’t get confused and they are as follows;
  • -Dating is arrangement to meet as part of a sexual or romantic relationship.
  • -Courtship is when a man and woman get to know each other before marriage
  • -Dating hardly leads to marriage
  • -Courtship can lead to marriage
  • – dating involve sexual intercourse
  • -Courtship hardly ever involves sexual intercourse ever
  • -Christians don’t date
  • – courtship is between two people who are ready for marriage.
Before courtship begins the man must have proposed and you as the lady accepted and your parents and family members know about it and then you both become officially engaged. so don’t say you are in courtship without any marriage proposal.
what you should be doing before courtship;
  • -KNOW GOD: you can think about settling down without having GOD in mind because God is the one who will bring the right man to you.
  • – SERVE GOD: your service in the house of God is like storing money in the bank for rainy days as you wait for your man to locate you keep busy in the house of God because it pays.
  • -GET TO KNOW YOU: it is quite funny when you see a lot of young ladies who are preparing themselves for marriage without getting to know themselves, as a young lady you can’t think of settling down if you don’t know yourself and what you’re capable of ,so before starting the courtship make sure you know your weaknesses and your strengths this will help you in the long run.
  • -PREPARE YOURSELF: as you wait for your partner keep busy and prepare yourself for marriage it is never too early to start attending relationship seminars.
Don’t think about marriage all the time do something for yourself why don’t you start to achieve those goals as you wait for your partner. don’t just wait, do something
Please note that you can’t be locked up in your room and wear horrible clothes and expect to get a marriage proposal,go out: to places you know you will meet responsible men.
WHAT TO DO WHEN HE PROPOSES:
Ask him to give you time to pray and seek God’s face make sure you introduce him to your parents and pastors.
  • Don’t say yes to the first guy who seeks your hand in marriage because the right one may be the last one so be careful. when many men are asking for your hand in marriage all at the same time you need to pray so as to make the right decision don’t for any reason whatsoever feel reluctant and decide to choose who you want to marry by yourself let God, your parents and your pastor help you in your decision REMEMBER THAT MARRIAGE IS A LIFE TIME THING.
   NOTE that courtship should last 6 months or 2 years no more no less.
        what to do during courtship;
  • – talk about your future together
  • – make God the center of your relationship
  • – be open to your partner it is better he knows now than later
  • – discuss your God-given ministry together
  • – concentrate on your partner don’t turn into a female player
  • – associate with married pelople so you can learn
  • – get a mentor immediately
  • – always pray to God about your future with him
  • – don’t hide your behavior show him everything so that he doesn’t get surprised honesty is the best policy if he doesn’t find out now he will find out later
           Don’t s of courtship;
  • -Don’t have S*x
  • -don’t spend the night at his place
  • don’t cook for him
  • -don’t clean or wash his clothes because he will be expecting all that when you become husband and wife
  • – don’t be in the dark about his past present and future it will save you a lot of stress in the long run
  • – don’t stay in a courtship with more than one person
  • – don’t wear sexy clothes to his house or anywhere around him
  • – don’t force your will on him
  •  don’t nag him
  • – don’t move in with him
  • -don’t try to change him if you don’t like what you see break up and move on
  • -don’t enter into courtship with someone you are way older than unless you want to become a miserable baby sitter.
  • -As a Christian don’t ever enter into courtship with an unbeliever
  • -don’t stay with a violent man love or no love
DON’T ENTER INTO COURTSHIP WITH SOMEONE YOUR PARENTS PASTORS OR EVEN GOD DISAPPROVE OF. REMEMBER LOVE IS BLIND AND MARRIAGE AN EYE OPENER. TRUST ME YOU DON’T WANT TO END UP WITH THE WRONG MAN.

I hope the above has helped you I will love to know you thoughts

By Nancy Desire